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Monday, October 15, 2007                                                                                       View Comments

I wasted good satire

Sent in by Bryan B

Why is it that fundamentalists have to have a complete lack of sense of humor? Why is it so hard for them to detect shades of sarcasm, or hints of mockery? I guess the reason I'm asking is because I sent a satirical letter to Answers in Genesis, and it went like this:

"Dear Creationists, I, like you, am offended at the exclusive teachings of evolution in public schools. I feel it is important for students to critically consider both sides (creation and evolution), not to be brainwashed by one side.

As a member of the native Kiowa Apache tribe, I take pride in our creation story, which never changes, no matter what other men say. I still believe the world was formed by a creator mixing the sweat of 4 different gods, and a tarantula pulling cords to make the earth its present size. Secular scientists say there is no proof of this, but unbiased Kiowa Apache scientists have found just the opposite!

Also, our sacred teachings predicted that many people would find this story foolish, and surprise, surprise! They were right, which helps prove our theory. Please, how can we get society to look at evidence for both sides, (Kiowa origins and evolution), not just pure secular propaganda?"

Here is the reply they sent me (and yes I realize it's probably an automated response):

"Dear Bryan,

Thank you for contacting Answers in Genesis.

In order for people to truly consider creation as well as evolution, they need to have open minds and unfortunately, most do not.

If you have never read the Bible, I would encourage you to do so, also with an open mind. It was written over a period of approximately 2,000 years and yet without error. Only an omnipotent God could orchestrate that."

I also got a code enabling me to receive 10% off my next AiG purchase.

Either my comment went right over the editor's head, or they refuse to acknowledge any discussion to the effect that their backward-ass theories might be wrong. I mean Jesus, does battling every advancement in every scientific field mean you can't have any fun?

Anyway, I thought readers might appreciate this.