I feel like a survivor

Sent in by D.C.

I was a person of faith...its all that I knew and for the longest time I really believed I couldn't live a happy life without faith. For longer than I can remember though...I was nagged by this little voice in the back of my mind...it kept saying..."Dawn...Christianity wasn't meant for you...this isn't real."

This voice kept getting louder and louder and louder until one day at work...I just stopped believing. It just sort of WENT AWAY.

I didn't feel bad...as a matter of fact I immediately started to feel better. I was very confused...why didn't I feel bad? Why didn't my "conscience" set about trying to destroy me. I DIDN'T FEEL EVIL!

lol...its been tough.

Friends, family, society...now I Feel as if I'm surrounded by crazy people. Xmas has been a real eye opener this year. I see Christians milling about nativity scenes at the mall...right next to Santa saying "ho ho ho Merry Christmas".

I feel like a survivor of some terrible mass delusion...like I'm mentally "well" for the first time. Does anyone else feel like they are living in a huge loony bin? I cant talk to anyone about this...all I can do is stare and feel bad for them. I'm thankful for this site because I can at least talk about it openly.

What I'm dealing with now...and what is most shocking...is now that the faith filter is gone, everything I see and hear on the news seems more real...more sad...I think faith actually made me numb because I have never felt anything like this before. Why do some people "wake up" and so many others not? My closest friends know about this...my family never will...lol ...NO WAY!

I know that I could never go back...I don't want to...I would rather live in a world of intelligence and reason. It may be lonelier out here...but dammit...it feels really good. I just hope that I can meet new like minded individuals...in time I know I will...


Encouraging ex-Christians

From Steamboat Willey:

John Stewart described himself as a Jew in the sense that he loves a good bagel buffet. I am a still a Christian only in the sense that I love the the time off from work, spending it with my family, and the kids' excitement over having Santa Claus visit. I even enjoy the tree, the decorations and some of the music.

It's ironic that when I was a fundy we kept Christmas to a minimum. Others in my church (Seventh-day Adventist) didn't observe at all. We also didn't wear wedding rings. Now we wear diamonds and Christmas is a bash. It's part of throwing off the yoke. We won't take any of it with us where we're going, so we celebrate life.

Go then. Eat your food with gladness and drink your wine with a cheerful heart. Enjoy life with the person you love. It's cool; there is nothing to feel guilty for.

Merry Christmas all you ex-Christians.

How's that for encouragement?

Hell is very hot!

A letter from Andrew F

Heres what i think,

once youre a saved born again christian, if its real, you cant just give it up. you cant go back on it or deny it because God will make sure he gets you back no matter what that takes.

This world is comin to an end fast, getting God out of schools, and everywhere else, teaching kids that being gay is just an alternative lifestyle, and that people werent created by God but that we came from monkeys...

Christians rights are being revoked. People are being told they are all god inside and strange religieons are beng made "popular" by the scummy, sorry, pathetic people in hollywood. Eveil and sin is being glorified by the world just like the bible predicted and the nation is being sucked into it.

Every nation that turned its back on God through time has fallen. Its sad to sit back and watch all the sin of the world be glorified. Real true born again children of God need to stick together and speak up- against the wicked sins of this world. WE need to take up our bibles and crosses and show the world that if they do not accept Jesus Christ then they will burn in hell for all of eternity.

I think any site that tries to ban God is just a sign of the times, but one day the people who dont believe will also stand before the one true living God, and as the bible says they will bow there knee and confess that he is Lord, then God will look down on non believers and say "depart from me, i know you not" and there begins the eternal seperation. I think that is sad but it will happen.

The only good part in all that is that those people in that one final moment before they are condemned to an eternity in hell will see that there was really a God and that they have spent there whole lives fighting against their creator. One day, when the trumpets blow, everyone will see that God is very real, heaven is real, and that hell is not only real but very hot.

Church rebate offer

I'm an ex-Christian will a story that you may have never heard before.

After 16 years of being an ex-Christian, I decided to see if I could get a refund on the money that I tithed to the church over the eight years that I was a believer. My years in the faith were divided between two different fellowships. I contacted my last pastor, and requested a refund of the money that I donated. He agreed to a refund and I am currently receiving a monthly check from them.

Even if you don't have documentation (I didn't either) of your giving, you might be able to get your money back.....I did, and let me tell you...it is so sweet!!

How did I do it?

First here is a short testimony:

I got 'saved' back in 1981. I attended a non-denominational church for about five years. I then left that fellowship and began attendance at Calvary Chapel. I became the worship/music minister. After three years I left the church. This was around 1989.

My experience with leaving the church is pretty typical. I was burned out on spending all my time and effort dealing with the music ministry. I left the church on very good terms with the pastor.

In the years that followed my leaving, I read and researched for answers to all the questions that had troubled me during my service to gods kingdom. I did not trust my pastor or fellow Christians to give me straight answers to my questions. After years of independent research, I now consider myself to be an atheist.

In my reflection on the years I spent in the ministry, I realized that I could never get back the time that I had invested. But maybe I could, at least receive back some of the money I had given.

I believed that whenever I put my tithe in the offering box, I was giving back to god. It was already 'his money'. I believed that the matter was totally between me and god. The church was simply the 'bagman' for my contribution.

Since my de-conversion, I now understand that I was psychologically manipulated into handing over ten percent of my income to the church. The pastor preaches about giving in such a way that if you don't give according to his scriptural interpretation, you are not a REAL Christian. This made me think: If I'm giving money to the church for the work of god, then it is a transaction strictly between myself and god. So....if I change my mind, and want my money back, the church should honor my request in the same way that they honored my contribution. It made sense to me.

I then contacted (via email) my ex-pastor and POLITELY requested a refund of all the money I had donated to the church in the time that I had been attending there. He admitted that he found the request unusual, but was willing to honor my wish.

Then it got down to business: Did I have any documentation of my contributions? Not really..... It had been over 16 years since my attendance at the fellowship, and I had not kept any records going back that far. Either had the church. The IRS could have given me documentation of my charitable donations for the years in question, but they would only show that donations had been claimed. The IRS docs would not show an itemization of who received the contribution. No help there. The bank account on which I wrote the checks had been closed and the branch was no longer in business.

It came down to this: My appeal was directly to my ex-pastor. He knew that I was completely dedicated (spiritually and financially) to the ministry while at the fellowship. He knew that I was trustworthy. Because we had such a close and friendly relationship during my years at the church, he simply put me in communication with the church accountant. The accountant and I negotiated an estimate of what my contributions probably amounted to, and we arrived at a dollar figure. They now are making monthly payments and I pinch myself every time the check arrives.

If this all sound too simple and unreal, understand this....For the sake of time, I have left out MANY details of the story. The only thing that I will add to this introduction, is the fact that all my correspondence with the pastor, secretary, and accountant was always pleasant, respectful, and to the point. At no time was I ever threatening or critical. I never discussed my personal spiritual opinions. I requested (not demanded) a refund of any amount that they would feel to be fair. My goal was to see if they believed what they had taught from the pulpit. Luckily for me, it appears they do.

I would suggest that before you begin a similar project, that you get all the information available in regards to your particular churches' policies on the subject of donations.

.....GOOD LUCK!!

Billy Braun

The Jesus Show

A letter from Santa:

Just thought I'd report on an experience I had a couple of nights ago. I am a free-lance Santa for parties, etc, this time of year.

One of my agencies assigned me to a holiday party for a business. I was surprised to see when I got there, that the CEO of the business was executing his holiday office party like "The Jesus Show."

First of all, he spoke from a stage and told everyone that Jesus was the reason for the season and had everyone stand up and pray. I went along, but only because to be seen there as a Santa who didn't go along with their Jesus message might have caused complaints back to my agency. Then he had various employees read Bible passages related to the birth (and death) of Jesus.

There was even a cake in the buffet line which was shaped to look like a Bible and was decorated with Bible passages.

The worst part was the singing. Bad fundy songs about Jesus sung badly. They even sang "Happy Birthday" to Jesus. At that moment, I felt the Christians were right about one thing; there is a hell; and I was in it.

Just when I thought I had descended to the seventh level of hell, one big haired lady announced she was going to sing, "Jesus Loves Me, This I Know," to a "visual" by ..... drum roll.... TRENT LOTT! Nothing like a racist to cap off your evening. The video he had produced had children running through meadows in slow motion, blowing bubbles, and everyone all happy beyond belief -- surprise! they were alll white!

I had this fantasy of having known in advance this was going to take place and surreptitiously replacing the Lott video with the Ava Lowery video which shows kids blown up in Iraq to the same song Muhahahahahahaaaa! They would have been in shock.

Anyway, of course the whole time I was asking myself. Is this even remotely legal to be so blatantly proselytizing to your employees this way? I'm guessing they screen for infidels and don't allow people like you and me work for them. BTW, the company is in the oil and gas exploration and well maintenance business. In any case, it's hard to imagine that there aren't some people who work there who made uneasy by all this, and there's pressure to conform to his view of religion to get promotions, etc.

Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 clearly states:

Employees cannot be forced to participate -- or not participate -- in a religious activity as a condition of employment.

I'm interested in reactions to this.

Christianity is stupid

A letter from CW:

I remember a few years ago when my dad walked away from his job that he had with a company, he decided to take an early retirement.

My dad was Manager and Controller of a major company where I live. He made some really good money, but when the owners overlooked my dad's advice, the company got into financial trouble. My dad resigned, and never went back to work. He retired at the age of 57 with no retirement or pension of any kind.

He rededicated his life to Christ in 1989, and he says that he believes the "Good Lord" blocked his attempts at getting rich, knowing he would probably be a crooked business man. He says he has no regrets about it.

Well let's see then. My parents are now both on fixed income, and they have to rely on SSI, and now because of a lack of money, they missed out on the opportunities to purchase our neighbor's farm when it went up for sale, and now the person who bought part of it has put junk all behind my parent's house, and my dad fusses about that on a constant basis, they were unable to purchase my grandmother's home when she passed away, and a member of our family is struggling with an eating disorder that may very well kill him, and my dad doesn't have the money to get him the help he needs.

My dad still says that he has no regrets about his decision, and it was God's will that he was not able to make big money.

No invisible God will determine if I make it in the financial world or not. All these Christians and God both can go screw themselves.

I do not need to get permission from an invisible force to make it in the financial world.

Once again, Christianity is stupid.

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