A prophecy for the webmaster

Hello Dave,

I hope this message finds you well!

I'm sorry that I didn't message you until today. I was visiting my girlfriend's parents over the weekend and didn't really have internet access at the end of my fast. I completed my three days of fasting for you, and God gave me a prophecy that I'm to share with you. I'm eager to do so, but I'd like to ask your permission first. Is it okay with you if I share that with you? Would you read it, knowing that I truly believe that it is a message that God gave me specifically to give to you?

I don't have the stunning logic that you have, nor the intense knowledge of the Bible. I know that it was written by fallible human beings. To be honest, I actually don't buy into the idea of organized religion much at all. I think it causes more problems than it solves. However, I have experienced God in ways that defy human logic. I'm excited to dialogue with you and see who you are. I'm not out to make you a 'Christian.' You've been there, and I don't think you're keen on going back, and I'm not really concerned with getting you there. I think what makes me most curious is the why. I want to know what makes you tick, and why you've devoted so much time to this. I know that Christians do it to, but I think it's because they think they have to. So why, Dave?

Anyhow, I'll not flood you with too many words. Too many words leave little room for thought.

I look forward to hearing back from you. I love you, and I am praying for you to realize your belovedness as a treasured child of the living God.


P.S.- It might seem like I'm trying to sugarcoat some truth to reel you in and snap you with the hard cold damnation of such and such, but I'm really not. I don't like to sugarcoat things- I say what I mean and try to be transparent. Call me on it if you think I'm doing otherwise, because I don't want to be fake to you.

My response:

Hello David,

Please feel free to send me whatever you like.

Have a great day!

Dave Van Allen
webmaster of http://exchristian.net

From David --

Hi Dave,

Sorry it takes me so long to get back to you. School and "work" (I'm self-employed) are pressing in on me right now, but it's Veteran's Day weekend, so I have a bit of time now. :)

Anyhow, I'm attaching the prophecy that I told you I had. I wrote it out when God gave it to me last Monday, I think. I hope you find it encouraging. I really find it encouraging, and I believe it to be true. That gets into some of that stuff like free will vs. divine will or whatever that argument is, but the point is that we can't wrap our human logic around God like that. That's kind of what the prophecy is about, too.

Jesus said to love God with all of our heart, mind, soul and strength. That's the most important commandment. I know you know that already for like a zillion years now, but here's something I've been thinking about lately: I think each person is best at loving God with a certain part of them. For me, strength is easiest. I love to serve God by what I do. But then I have a hard time devoting my mind to his teachings and remembering to pray and stuff like that. As a fundementalist Christian, I'm guessing you were really strong in the mind and strength areas, but perhaps you didn't feel the love in your heart. Maybe it was more like a sense of duty. Is that how it was? I've never really been a Fundy or anything, so I don't presume to know anything about what it's like. I just want to understand that better.

Anyhow, that's what the prophecy (which I believe to be divine truth inspired by God) talks about. I'm just gonna write it to you now and let you read it, I guess, because that would make more sense than analyzing it and then having you read it.

"I am the LORD,
I am the Almighty,
That I Am is all.

Listen to what I say to you, Beloved,
Hear my words; they are for you.
They are for my Prodigal Beloved.

You sought me with your mind and I hid myself from you.
You searched for me in pride, but I was hidden where you could not find me.
You doubted your mind and you were chastised by others - They also loved me with their minds.

You turned away from me with your heart and your mind.
You sought me again, but in order to destroy.
You sought to destroy that I Am.

When you turned away, I did not change, Beloved.
Seek me with your heart,
and you will find me!
I will speak Love to you,
and you will serve others in Love.

Those who presumed to teach you, you will teach.
Those who spurned you, you will forgive.
Those who claim the truth of that I Am will be put to shame by the truth that I Am Love.
You will show them, Beloved.

You are my Beloved!
You will be after my own heart.
I shall reclaim my Beloved!"

The last thing I have to say is: I was wondering if it's okay if I ask some people to pray for you. I have some close friends praying for you, but I didn't want to tell the whole world about you or something, because I think they wouldn't each love you. Some of them would be hard-hearted to you. That makes me really sad, but that's the truth on either side of the fence: people are afraid. But I want to tell some of my friends that I know won't be like that; that I know will pray for you in love and compassion. Is that okay?

Anyhow, sorry to take up so much of your time with all this reading. I look at the words I just wrote and they turn into a magic eye picture because there's so many of them. Or maybe I'm just easily whelmed. :)

Have a wonderful weekend and enjoy a hot beverage that makes you happy on my behalf. I just wish I could be there to buy it for you and make a snowman if there's snow.

Take care and God bless you,

My response --

It's a free country, David.

Feel free to invocate your invisible friend all you want.

I expectantly await the results.

webmaster of http://exchristian.net

Note: David sent in $20.00 in support of this website, a response to the "No True Christians" rant.

Then David said:
Thanks for listening Dave.

I know yuo've probably heard it all before, but I'm just curious about this... How do you differentiate between your evangelism as a fundementalist and your evangelism as an atheist? It seems like you think you're as right now as you thought you were then. Actually, you use scriptures in much the same ways as the fundementalists that come and preach at the common areas at my university. You both condemn people of foolishness using Christian doctrine as ammunition. Is there any difference besides the group of people you are calling fools?

I know this is kind of a pointed question, but I think you can handle it, and I bet you've been asked it before. I'm not trying to corner you or anything, I've just been curious about this since I saw that you used to be a fundy, because I know there must be some reason. I also haven't had time to look over your entire website yet (it's enormous! well, to me at least), so my thinking that you use Christian doctrine alone could be completely wrong. In that case, I am a fool in that respect. :)

Sorry to keep bugging you. I guess I just really wonder what you're all about. If you want me to stop bugging you, go ahead and don't reply and I'll let you be.

God bless you,

My response:


You said, "...as the fundementalists that come and preach at the common areas at my university."

I'm not coming to your university. I don't knock on doors. I don't argue with people on the street corners. I don't pass out tracts.

I do post my own thoughts on my own web page, and allow others to view them and either agree or disagree. No one is forced to read the things I and others write. No one is threatened with eternal torment in horrific agony in a place they will never die for disagreeing with me or the others who post. Please read the disclaimer and purpose page of this site. You'll see that it is for those who have realized Christianity is bunk. It's not a tool for evangelism for atheism. I admit that I am now an atheist, however, other regular posters on the site have other positions on the "Is there a god?"question. And that's OK.

What I think you mistake for evangelism is really counter-evangelism. A zealous Christian, like yourself, comes into the site, is upset by what is judged to be an affront to Christ or Christianity, and feels a desire to do something. That something, typically, will be to preach or prophesy or lash out with words. The words used will be the internal language of Christianity. I understand that language because I can speak it. It wouldn't do to answer a fundamentalist in the language of secularism, would it? So to the fundamentalist, I become a fundamentalist. I think Paul the Apostle used a similar approach.

Then David concluded with:

I definitely hadn't considered that stark contrast between you and the guys at my school. Thanks for clearing that up, and I'm really sorry if I offended you at all or made you feel like I was challenging your beliefs. I just wanted to know more about what "makes you tick."

I really do see what you're doing as an "affront to Christianity," but I don't feel any need to change it, challenge it, defend others from it or attack it. You're entitled to your right to believe what you want just as I'm to mine.

When I donated, it wasn't because I felt a need to do something about it. My first reaction was actually to be pissed off and shoot my mouth or something (which I consider to be a fearful and wrong reaction). The reason I donated was because I truly felt a conviction from God that I should follow Jesus' teachings, even if it's slightly inconvenient for me.

The reason I sent you a prophecy is because I felt that I had been instructed to do so. I wouldn't have sent it if you told me not to when I asked permission, but I feel like I overstepped my boundaries none the less. I'm sorry about that. I don't want to be lumped in with the other jerks I see posting on your site in the name of God. They should know better than to tell "the truth" (as they see it) in any way other than a completely honest and loving way, following deep self-examination.

I'm sorry if I seem overzealous to you as well. I can guarantee you, though, that unlike the others, I do everything I can to make my passion one of love rather than number of converts, percentage of my Christlikeness compared to others', or anything else so remarkably idiotic. I do feel a need to defend myself, but not because I fear your cause or dislike it. It's because I don't want to be seen as one of them. You're about ten times easier to love than they are.

Don't worry about writing me back. I just wrote (with too many words, as usual) to thank you for your response and apologize for coming across the way I did. Thank you very much for your time and insight. I'll be checking the site from time to time to see what's new.

God bless you,


Anonymous said...

Oh christ almighty

Anonymous said...

Dave I have a prophecy from my Lord The Great and Terrible Invisible Snot God that lives in my post box...for you, do you mind terribly if I send it to you, and do you mind awfully if I get my gnome friends that live in my underwear drawer to pray for you. I wont tell the Pixies in the jewelry box because i think they will be very hard hearted towards you....little bastards!...The prophecy is soo amazingly overwhelming and juxtopositioning within the realm of the truly enlightenmicated and fantasticated that it forms a sort of a mucousy dribbly mind picture that oozes out of your mind nose and warmly embraces your top lip to form a yellow crust of wisdom and great lovingnessesess, and when presented to non believers in this form leaves them with great feelings of multitudeny and majicfullnes, whereupon they vomit up all the demonic mastebalnitic demons that inhabit your fortudinal regions...thereby releasing you of all the underfucktory musications and heavy feelings of fowlasseticapation that has until now wankered up your mutinious meul mind but then maybe I too am just easily excited by the eggsalutions of the Great and worthitious Snot God...with great smackings of heartings and mastecatory rambunctions I bid you
Swocmontery my friemsat
God loves you.

Anonymous said...


Steven Bently said...

Hi, I just came across this websight by accident by googling prophesy and it came up to David the humble servant of the Lord.

I've been praying and fasting and no one knows the mind of God unless you happen to be a genuine prophet of God, which I just happen to be!

I'm not the smartest brick in the wall, but I have experienced God in ways that defy human logic.

However I am happy to share this prophesy with you.

Anyhow, that's what the prophecy (which I believe to be divine truth inspired by God) talks about. I'm just gonna write it to you now and let you read it, I guess, because that would make more sense than analyzing it and then having you read it.

I am the Lord God.
I am the one, that I am.
It is me, that says it is me!
I exist, therefore I exist!

All those that seek me, will find me.
Those that do not call out to me, I will ignore.
I will speak to the ears of your heart.
If you have wax (Satan) in the ears of your heart, you will not hear me.

I God, am invisible.
I God, only exist only in human thought.
I God, exist only in human indoctrinated thought.

I God, live in the pages of a book.
I God, am attracted to people that need an imaginary being to protect them.

This special knowledge is scorned and shunned by my believers.
Many people will insist in believing in me inspite of any proof or evidence.

But I God, say in a book that I exist, so there is your proof.

This knowledge can only be revealed through much fasting and prayer.

I know this information will change your heart, because I believe it was divinely inspired.

If you cannot hear this, it's because you have wax build-up (Satan)in your heart.

I will ask many to pray for you to have the wax(Satan) removed from your heart.

This is the prophesy revealed to me, from God!

Anonymous said...

Is this guy being serious or is this just a joke?

SpaceMonk said...

Oh, THAT I Am.
Hey, I Am too.

Anonymous said...

David: "I don't have the stunning logic that you have, nor the intense knowledge of the Bible. I know that it was written by fallible human beings."

With fallible logic?

David: "However, I have experienced God in ways that defy human logic."

Do tell, where is the standard by which you measure god?

Anonymous said...

Well David, you really are quite a case!

First you show a dose of healthy scepticism by talking about how the bible was written by ‘fallible human beings’. Then you start claiming divine inspiration for your own hodge-podge of Old-Testament-style verses, writing them as if they came straight from God!

Don’t you see a slight contradiction there? You really do seem to have experienced God in a way that defies human logic.

Or perhaps you think that you're a better conduit than Isaiah, Jeremiah and friends, and that your very own ‘Psalm of David’ is somehow less tainted by coming through you than through the others.

God really does work in mysterious ways if he chooses to prophesy through someone who thinks that the bible may not be as divinely inspired as most Christians claim.

I’m afraid that the brutal truth is that it wasn’t God speaking through you, it was just you talking out of your arse!

Unless you were just taking the piss, that is! ‘Psalm of David’ – it could be!

Still, whatever the case, you’ve just given us a very good demonstration of how the bible came to be written. All it took was a bunch of deluded people like you who thought that they were special!, or maybe in some cases, were actually taking the piss! You’ve just written your verses 2,500 years too late to get in, I’m afraid.

Anonymous said...

i ave witnessed a mirracol, an hit iz de truef!

my name is stella i live in de foothils ob kentucky. i never marred an lived wit my mammy awl my lif. she waz 93 win de lord took her away, 1 day i aked de lord to sent me a mirracol an 2 daz ladder a puppi cammed uped my driway an i naned him shep, whell 1 dae shep waz hasleep in de driway and de mailmam bacted ober him, prezzed em flat oout, so i sended him to de taxicoligest n had em stuffted, nal ol shep sitzs on my phireplace an 1 day az i walked bye he n quoteded scriptre, rite oout ob de bybill, he sed dat he new howl de fowlndation ob de univerce waz crated, ann he sad dat jezis waz a reel purson an dat jezis waz a smark man. lot ob peeple dontk beleeve me, an i cank pruve hit, buk hit tis de tr00f. nal i no dat jezis eggsist becoz i assted 4 a mirracol ghot 1, an nal i tallk 2 shep ebvery daey, sum times 4 ours an ours, ol shep iz sow mulch smartyr then mee.

i wheel axe ol shep 2 prey 4 eech an evbery 1 ob u unbeeleevers sow u want half 2 goe 2 hail.

Anonymous said...

Odin has propesied to me in a vision after trepanning my skull that Ted Haggard is the second coming of Bacchus.

Everyone look busy!

BTW...."Unless you were just taking the piss, that is! ‘Psalm of David’ – it could be!"

Taking the piss? Is that a Brit expression I have never heard before?

Anonymous said...

This is one of the only well-meaning Christians that has posted here in a long time. He donated $20 dollars to the site, as a gesture of kindness. He may not be a regular Christian, he may have views we find even stranger, but who the fuck cares?

Clearly he only meant to learn from the webmaster and maybe share something with him. Can't we just appreciate the kindness and eliminate the blanket mockery of any Christian that manages to get their post put up on the homepage?

A little respect goes a long way, and really, it's much easier to communicate with a fundamentalist if they feel like their ideas are respected than "becoming a fundamentalist" yourself. "Catch more flies with honey than vinegar," as they say.

Let's not make this site a support group for recovering Christians who want to lash out so much as a site which tries to show Christians how the truth can be just as fulfilling and just as kind.

Anonymous said...

Well, fasting for three days can cause you to hallucinate...

Oy vey, every Christian thinks they are a prophet of God. It is insane...

Anonymous said...

Remember, fundies only imagine the end of the world, atheist scientists (Dicky Dawkins tells us most scientists are atheists, right?) provide the means to acutually END IT.


Anonymous said...

Hey Dave,
Sounds like God is gonna get you back on his side according to David.
If that happens someone will have to run the site. Feel free to call me. LOL

Dave Van Allen said...

I'll let everyone know if I'm slain in the Spirit, or something to that effect, from David's magic.

Anonymous said...

What a crock of SHIT!!!!!

Anonymous said...

EG: "Remember, fundies only imagine the end of the world, atheist scientists (Dicky Dawkins tells us most scientists are atheists, right?) provide the means to acutually END IT. LITERALLY."

Yeah, and Hitler's imagination led him to envision a world where a supreme race existed - his race that is. Rome envisioned a world where there would be a unified law, based on a state religion - Constantine's law/religion that is.

So, Hitler's vision, and the murder of millions around the globe, forced other nations to build technology that would protect them. The religious extremists are pushing entire nations to defend themselves, and yes, as they increase their stockpile of munitions and weapons, others have to keep up. Eventually, there may well be world annihilation... But, what is really being expressed to anyone with an IQ of about 50 or better, is that people would rather "die", than be oppressed by a dictator, religious or otherwise.

If the religious keep their "vision" of assimilation of humanity to themselves, then... it appears there shouldn't be any problems... but, we both know that that is not the strategic vision of religion, right.

Many people vote on laws, etc., to enable citizens with liberty, free agency, and consequences. Religious people, vote on laws, to remove liberty, by taking away free agency, because they don't believe people have the ability to make good decisions. One supports the belief that humanity is "capable" of living in a civil society... and then, there is the other that doesn't believe humanity should exist at all, in its sinful state of affairs.

Anonymous said...

Poor ole "Psalm Davids'"brain is such a sorry mass of mush that I believe someone like this(that's if he's to be believed) is delusional and yet as humble as he appears to come across, is still arrogant enough to believe that he's sufficiently important for the "Almighty Gawd of the Holey Buybull" to use him to "speak thru"????
This only serves to prove once again how terribly dangerous a fundy can be, they are able to justify ANY action WHATSOEVER in their own twisted,crazy minds.......because "somewhere" in their Buybull there is a passage that proclaims it.... Scarey man !!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hold off on those pink sweets, buddy !! LMFAO

Anonymous said...

He´s a sweet guy, though. Puts his money where his mouth is.

Lost´ said that fasting can cause hallucinations. Hell yes. Why do you think fasting used to be rated so highly? And if you eat nothing for three days, and your blood sugar gets down really low... and all you do all the time is concentrate on your god-image... I´d be worried if you DIDN´T have God talking to you.

Anonymous said...

David: "I'm really sorry if I offended you at all or made you feel like I was challenging your beliefs.

What beliefs?

David, do you believe leprachauns and gnomes are real? How about Zeus and Santa Claus?

Most likely, your answer's are no.

So, can I challenge your LACK of belief in these things by saying you must believe in their non-existence? That makes no sense.

If I claimed there was a creative force in nature named UNI and it is the cause of all life...would you believe me?

If you do NOT believe me, why NOT?

Belief in theistic terms is not required when concluding that invisible MYTHICAL characters like gods, angels, demons, sprites, fairies, leprachauns and gnomes are not real or relevant to life.

I am absent of a belief in these imaginary concepts and reject them as fiction. Simple as that.

We just came to a different conclusion than you have. One that does not require an act of FAITH.

Anonymous said...


I just want to say thank you for posting in such a respectful and polite manner.

People do not need to agree in order to have a civilised conversation.

I think its important to be able to express curiosity without being mocked even if ones views are vastly different from our own.

Anonymous said...

The words "message" and "dialogue" are not verbs.

Anonymous said...

As important as it is for you to get the message of a loving, caring, omniscient, omnipotent God to Dave the webmaster, I am more concerned about this:
I saw on TV, a whole lot of babies starving to death, being held by their mothers who were raped by soldiers after the soldiers had killed the husbands and fathers. Would you please ask God what he is going to do about this?
Dano (If God speaks to folks more often when they are hungry, he must have a constant dialogue with starving people)

Dave Van Allen said...

Dano, you're talking about reality.

We're discussing invocations to an immaterial, invisible "I AM" to interfere in imagined issues.

Don't confuse it with reality.

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