Your gospel story quiz made me angry.

I took it twice, the second time through I recorded the opposite response to each question and still received a zero.

Maybe you think it's clever to quiz people on the contradictions, my time is valuable and you wasted it with your impossible quiz.

Get a life.

~Alana Cooke, MA, MEd

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SpaceMonk said...

Get a clue.

Anonymous said...

For someone who claims to have an MA in Education, you demonstrate an amazing ability to fail to see the point - which, I believe, is that the gospels are full of contradictions. Duh!

mothpete said...

Ohhh, that is so gorgeously tragic.

Roger O'Donnell said...

To quote the Confucian sage Nelson Muntz - *points* AH-Haaaa!

Anonymous said...

Your gospel story quiz made me laugh.

I took it a couple times and still flunked.

It's pretty easy to show just how absurd religion is.

Unfortunately some people have been brainwashed to such an extent that even in the face of overwhelming evidence they cling to their fantasies and maintain allegiance to their cult.

Some allegedly intelligent people continue to blindly base their life around a 2,000 year old collection of myths stolen from other myths.

It's important to stop religion before it kills again.

Wait... DAMN!!! Too late... Even as you read this some religious fanatic has abandoned rational thought long enough to murder someone...

I have a life, and it's much more interesting when observed with an open mind.

-PW, PsyD

mothpete said...

Contradictions are just good old fashioned fun. Riddle me this Alan: Is Jesus himself going to hell? Check out the following verses:

"But anyone who says 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell." (Jesus) Mat 5:22

"You fools!" (Jesus) Luke 11:40
"You blind fools!" (Jesus) Mat 23:17
"How foolish you are" (Jesus) Luke 24:25

"But God said to him, 'You fool!' " (Jesus) Luke 12:20

"You foolish Galatians!" (St. Paul) Galatians 3:1
"You foolish man" James 2:20

bourneagainshell said...

Obviously you don't have a sense of humor nor a sense of logic. You thought taking that quiz would give you brownie points for God didn't you? Think you'd get some sort of praise, did you? Maybe a little pat on the back? A little "good game" smack on the butt? No? Stop it! Take your own advice and "Get A Life!" ROFLMAAO.

eris.discordia said...


LOVE the responses! Keep up the good RATIONAL work!

bourneagainshell said...

Jesus LOL

bourneagainshell said...

More :)

Jesus LOL 2

Anonymous said...

This little scene reminds me of my college graduation practice. After watching the other colleges (arts and sciences, agriculture, etc) stand to be recognized, only 3 students out of approximately 100 in the college of education stood when prompted. I assure you, it was not a gag. They honestly didn't know they were supposed to stand. Morons. Tragically, many of those buffoons are now teaching children.

But it's all about making people FEEL good whether they deserve it or not, right?

MG (Monk), History B.S.

Anonymous said...

Allow me to say that I in NO WAY feel that ALL teachers/education majors are dipsticks, and I apologize to those that do recognize life outside their own particular boxes. I was, in fact, privileged to have some amazing instructors at every level of my education.

Nevertheless, many in the classroom do not belong there.

bourneagainshell said...

OMG! You guys should take a look at this!
Someone contributed to the rewriting of the bible and did a grand job of it. Albeit one of the stupidest things I've ever read, it surely made it that much more fascinating. Tell me if you didn't get a kick out of that one. XD

TheJaytheist said...

Hey Alana,take the quiz again. Only this time mix up the "correct" answers. I'm sure you'll get a much better score.

Honest. I wouldn't tease. ;)

Anonymous said...

The truth hurts, doesn't it? That's where the anger is coming from. We just proved how contradictory the Bible is.

I don't know if this is the exact same quiz, but somewhere online is a site called "The World's Most Difficult Bible Quiz;" I used to spend some time in the "BA Room (Beliefs - Atheism)" on AOL, and I would challenge fundies who came in the room to go take the test. They were all too chicken poopie to brave taking it.

eel_shepherd said...

Alana, M.Ed., E.E.L., No.MSG., wrote:
"...I took it twice, the second time through I recorded the opposite response to each question and still received a zero..."

At first I thought this post was some sort of IQ test, to see who'd fall for the idea that this heavy hitter would need to take the test twice to work out the point, or even to take the whole test right through once. Sort of a "my irony beats your irony" type of deal.

But I see from her use of a comma after "twice", instead of a semicolon or period, that the good edukationmeister has never heard of a run-on sentence.

Somewhere a local PTA meeting is demanding a teaching-salary refund from a school board.

Hellbound Alleee said...

HAHAHA! Thanks, I loved the quiz.


Such is the answer of a university-educated man.

Heretic Chick said...

LOL, nobody forced you to waste your time. And you claim to have a masters in education? ROFLMAO!

Anonymous said...

bourneagainshell -

Thanks for the link to That looks like a website where I could waste hours - and I thoroughly intend to, when I either get my work done or give up on it for the day.

Thank you, too, Alana. You made my day!

(I've already posted by response to our educated friend as "Get a Brain." I know, I know; I deplore the use of sock puppets as well. But I just couldn't help myself.)

Aspentroll said...

Maybe the test shows people just how befuddled the gospels really are, which then shows how befuddled "fundies" really are. Seems it surely befuddled
Alana Cooke.

SpaceMonk said...

Alalna, my time is valuable too actually, and I think enough of it was wasted on christianity.
At least we can laugh about it now.

nm156 said...

Hi Alana,

I am sorry it took you two times through the quiz and you still didn't catch the point.
I took it once; I figured out where it was taking me after the fourth or fifth question... then I laughed because I KNOW that I am stupid. You shouldn't be so serious all the time.

You see, the problem as I see it is not that the Bible contains errors per se but rather that it is touted in its entirety as the "Infallible" word of god. Let's not prevaricate; it is the antithesis of infallibility. The mere fact that it was written by humans testifies to the fact.

bourneagainshell said...


Yeah, I almost couldn't get away from the site because of how much fun I was having just lmao. Whew!

Anyway, to the author of the post:

Please show us the best of you, that you spent so many hours and money developing and educating, in the future. It's not really nice to hurt your rep in such a way that you had to go out of your way to prove how ironically-challenged we've seen you to be (not physically "seen", but you get the picture, right? Or do I have to spell it out? Didn't think so...)

I'm sure you were just "tired" or something and weren't thinking straight. Bring your opinions back sometime. They make for a great comment trail one could enjoy for a short while. Thank you for posting! X)

Anonymous said...


Every time I click on the link to the recent comments I am brought to the pics page. Whats up?

Anonymous said...

The point of the quiz is that the gospels have more than one answer to these questions. They are contradictory. If you go back and take the quiz again, you will still get zero because there's always a verse that will contradict another verse. The point is to get people to see how the verses contradict each other.

Anonymous said...

That's a laugh . . . Hey, ya college educated imbecile, why don't ya define this 'life' one is supposed to acquire? Last I checked, we all don't march specifically in your jackboot steps, and that's what makes life so full of variety. I took the bloody thing only once, and figured out the point halfway through. So gimme a BA in BS, cause I worked it out in a quarter of the time YOU wasted.

Anonymous said...

Alana, I don't believe for a minute you have an M.A. or an M.Ed. If it took you two tries on that test and you still didn't get the point, then you're just not bright enough for a high-level degree (plus you're sorely lacking in the sense of humor department).

Nobody wasted your time but yourself. Take some responsibility for your own stupidity and quit blaming others for your lack of intelligence.

M.A., my ass. I call shenanigans...

Anonymous said...

If you read the Gospels, and this is all that you are inspired to do, you really have missed the point. When are you going to learn that the majority of Christians are not fundamentalists and do not believe in the inerrancy of the Scriptures? Please try to read them on a higher level!

Anonymous said...

You failed the bible quiz, so now you're certainly destined for HELL!

Steve said...


I had an inkling of what was going on after i had finished it the first time but i took at again and immediately knew. Like you, i was very annoyed with it. If you have a point to prove, dont do it as annoyingly as that stupid quiz.

Steve said...

Also, heres something else that annoys me. Why is it when someone says something that is not popular, certain people feel the need to be the grammer/spelling police. Its not just this post ive noticed this in and not just on this board as well. To point out someones grammer/spelling mistakes is babyish and petty. Additionally, feel free to point out any mistakes i have made as i realize it will make you feel good about yourself.

eel_shepherd said...

Steve wrote:
"...Why is it when someone says something that is not popular, certain people feel the need to be the grammer/spelling police..."

Well Steve, she _did_ try to pass herself off as someone with a master's degree in education. And yes, since you mention it (--- and ONLY since you mention it ---) you do have spelling mistakes in your post.

"Universities" got their name because when a person emerged from one, they were supposed to emerge with a fairly "universal", well-rounded, education, & the ability to think and function around other well-rounded thinking types. Not just be able to write computer code or repair furnaces, etc. That would be "training". The type of class where some student inevitably sticks up his/her hand and asks "Does spelling count?" on the essay questions.

(*scre-e-e-e-ches to a halt*) I'm wasting my time with this one, aren't I? I'm talking to thin air. Stopping now.

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