This site has been a huge help to me

Sent in by Harry

Hey everybody. This is my latest posting here on this site. I have written quite a few times before and at various points in time have had differing opinions.

Despite having gone to church for years, and bible college, I have come to the conclusion (yet again) that I am not comfortable with religious doctrines/heaven and hell/salvation/etc.

I'm not really sure whether I am an Agnostic or an Atheist. While I don't believe in a personal god that answers prayer and is in control of the universe, etc., I do have an appreciation for the beauty of life and nature. I understand why people believe the things they do about their respective religions: Faith is comforting (for the adherent).

At this point in time, I am having mixed emotions at the prospect of not believing in the religious God(s) I have come to know over the years. I feel more free and clear-minded than I have ever felt before... yet at the same time, I feel nervous.

This site has been a huge help to me over the years, and it helps to know that others know what I am going through right now. Thanks to all of you, and keep me in your >>thoughts>>.

Sincerely, Harry


ComputerGuyCJ said...

The very last prayer I made was asking God for clarity. From that day on, it has been clear to me that Christianity is bunk. I'd like to think that there's a god out there who answered my prayer (for once), but more than likely I answered it for myself. Knowledge and reason have won me over, as they sound like they have also done for you.

Good luck Harry. I hope you continue to heal and can help to make a difference in this world.

Anonymous said...


You share the beliefs of many who don't believe in a personal god, and have an appreciation for the beauty of life and nature. Atheists and agnostics among them, but also Deists (more historical), many Universalist-Unitarians (UUs), and even modern theologicians like Bishop Spong.

I wonder why you feel nervous? Are you worried that your newly found realization about a personal God might be wrong? If that is your concern, be assured that as time goes forward, you will see more and more reason to know that your decision was a correct one, and you will feel increasingly liberated by it.

Or maybe your worry is more of a social one, wondering who your friends now are. Visit a local atheists meetup, Humanist chapter, or UU congregation to meet people who share your interests, and are really people, too.

In any event, I wish you the best.

Anonymous said...

I don't believe in a personal god.

Some call that blasphemy.I think those who trust in a personal god, (and the bible),are the ones that are guilty of that imaginary sin.

To say god is a person,not just a force etc.,is to blame him/her for all the horrors of this world,and the shear terror of the hell they say he create.

I feel much safer as ex-christian
than I ever did as the child of a all seeing and all knowing dictator.


Telmi said...


May I suggest you read Dan Barker's book "Losing Faith in Faith" if you have not already read it. Some of the chapters can be read on-line via this site:

You will find Dan's thoughts illuminative and convincing.

Rich said...

I visit this site often because as an atheist I want to try and understand apostasy. I never was a believer in any religion, principally because I was raised by an agnostic mother. Accordingly it has always been hard for me to understand how people get sucked into the slime pit of religion.

One thing that struck me as I read Harry's post is that very few of the formerly religious people who post here comment on the glorious freedom being an atheist can bring to them. I see them as being very much like a caged animal who suddenly discovers the cage door is open, yet they stay inside their cages.

Start reading authors like Carl Sagen, Sam Harris, and Richard Dawkins, to get an understanding of the beauty of putting your trust in the life stance that is devoted to science and reason. Join a humanist group in your community to gain a community, which you may now feel bereft of.

As time goes on you will be comfortable with the great freedom you now enjoy. Wallow in it. Eat it up. You made a great life decision.

Kyan said...

I don't believe in any sort of god, but I see the beauty of the universe, and in fact I'm convinced that I can see it far more clearly and feel it more deeply than someone who thinks its so shallow and simple as 'God did it'. That is not even interesting, much less awe inspiring.

There is no evidence for god beyond what humans have made up - god has never spoke to anyone. So we really have no reason to believe it outside of what we've been told by previous generations, all of who had less information than we do about how the universe really works. I wouldn't ask my ancestors how computers work, and I sure as hell wouldn't rely on them for information as to how the universe was formed.

I'm absolutely an atheist. I believe I can more fully experience the awesome majesty of the universe *without* having some cockamamie god character lording over all of creation.

If people spent half as much time reading interesting science magazines or blogs as they do reading the bible, they'd have some sense of what I'm talking about. The mistake a lot of people make is thinking that if you take away their god, life somehow becomes bleak and meaningless. How small these people think!

twincats said...

I think the nervousness is pretty normal. My deconversion was a great deal easier than many I've read here and yet I experienced the same feeling for a few years myself, quite honestly.

It did take a while for the nagging little voice in my head to stop harping on about "but...what if you're wrong??" This site put that in perspective for me in the many Pascal's Wager-type threads. If I was afraid of the Judeo-Christian god, what about the thousands of others I didn't believe in, either; wouldn't they be pissed as well? Nah, probably not.

When I thought of it like that, one more god on the scrap-heap of forgotten historical deities didn't seem like a big deal at all!

eel_shepherd said...

Harry, in addition to the good pieces of advice of finding a group of like-minded people with whom to keep community, you might also take a peek at some of the ex-Muslim sites and read what some of them went through, on their exit from their religion.

I was reading the (anti-)testimony by the webmaster of one of those sites, describing how he felt like his whole psyche/world was coming apart, with the onset of his nascent secularism, and picturing how a Xtian would react to his story, since as far as they're concerned he wasn't giving up anything of value in the first place. I could picture them saying, "Hey, take a valium dude; y'had the wrong religion anyhow, no big loss..." Gives a bit of perspective.

Aspentroll said...

I am a 73 year old male and have never really been subjected to religious beliefs. My father died when I was nine years old and my mother attempted to bring me up as she thought best in those days. All her attempts at getting me exposed to religion went awry. First Sunday school, I was more or less evicted from the class because I asked to many pertinent questions. Then I had to sit in the church itself by her side while the preacher rambled on about the most uninteresting stuff. I guess she could see my discontent and gave up on me, which allowed me to run freely on Sundays.
I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that I have always had a serious concern about what to believe. I have never been able to accept what I was hearing about God, heaven and hell etc.
So, now, with my access to the internet I have found that there are millions more out there that
have the had the same problem with religion that I have. I have found this very encouraging and now I don't feel alone in my thoughts.
I am full blown atheist and I feel great about it.

Anonymous said...

Ahhh...Science, the brand new religion.

Anonymous said...

can someone tell me what makes christianity fake? I dont see it can someone show me the light. If not then you fuckers are going to hell.

Anonymous said...

" can someone tell me what makes christianity fake? I dont see it can someone show me the light. If not then you fuckers are going to hell."

Awww. How cute. Christian love. -Wes.

Anonymous said...

it is christian love. Love Jesus or burn in hell. Seems pretty simple to me.

Anonymous said...

Naw. You're not a christian any more than I am. You're just having fun! -Wes.

Anonymous said...

This is for harry, I'm an athiest but not a member yet. I Think I know some of what your feeling. I got most of my answers from a book by William Harwood Mythology's Last Gods Yahweh and Jesus, he was a christian student and was given a project in mystery religions while at Calgary when he finished he knew the Biblical god was fiction but it took him three years to let go of his early training. some times there can be quite an emotional upheavel but it will subside. Good luck on you new path.

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