What's with the tongue?

I am definately an EX Christian but I do have a burning question. It is about the speaking in tongues thing.

My church preached we were to: (1) Become born again (2) be baptised (in water) and then (3) be baptised in the Holy Spirit by speaking in tongues. Now, I DID (1) and (2) back in the day but (3) never happened. I don't know whether if it HAD, I would still have left. Probably. But, is there anyone here who DID speak in tongues and yet is now an ex Christian, ie. it DID happen, but you still left?

And also, is the tonguified thing for real? Or is it like the Emperor's New Clothes, there's nothing there but in some way people act like it is? (I used to think it was gross, by the way, how they'd say "..the Holy Spirit will not force himself on you" it sounded SO SEXUAL! I DID believe in it and that I was ready and TRIED to be good but it DIDN'T happen people. Your views on using tongue PLEASE?! Thanks!

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