I pray that God will draw you back
I am so sorry you feel so strongly against Christianity that you would go to all this trouble. The thing is, God's grace is amazing and his mercies no NO end. He sent His Son to die for you and apparently you once knew that. Christianity won't solve all your problems or erase them but He is the reason you are able to manage them, get through, and triumph over them. I pray that God will draw you back to Him in a mighty way and that you will one day soon use your energies in a way that is pleasing to not only your Father but in way that will inspire peace and truth in your life.
God Bless
God Bless
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