You seem like a decent person!

I don't know, you seem like a decent person. I have a lot of questions about some of the same Bible verses you mentioned. I have also experienced that honest questions are usually unwelcome to most professing Christians. All I can say is, just stay as honest as you can. Don't worry about what other people say. If there is a judgment day, (which I believe), we will all stand alone before the Judge.

As I read your story, I was struck by the verse that says, "Blessed are they who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled." It certainly seems to describe you. The verse doesn't say when they are filled.

What was so great about Abraham? He waited 100 years for the fulfillment of the promise, and after that he offered it back to God. Simply put, he never stopped believing that God was true and faithful to those who want him above all else. Jesus said that he that endures TO THE END shall be saved. (Please excuse the caps, I don't have italics.)

Well, that's about it. I can't believe all your struggle has been for nothing. You are in my prayers.

Dave R.