Random thoughts that are important to me

From Jonathan

I have been viewing the posts on this site for a couple of months now. I feel very connected to the people and the stories that I read on here. I would say that I am a spiritual person that leans towards humanitarian thinking (I have not studied it much) and more agnostic than atheist. I was going to a United Church of Christ church and loved the spiritualism there, but not the push to be a liberal activist.

With that little sliver of who I am I want to know how everyone has survived there families that are worried about them, praying for them, still believe god has a plan for your life and that it will manifest itself. I have turned to my parents as of late for support because I have been living a desperate, unplanned (without goals) life for the past 10 years (I am 32).

I have struggled with addiction issues these past 10 years too (I have a theory that this happens to a lot of people raised as I was) and have tried 12 step groups, but I found that they reminded me too much of growing up in the Assembly of God church that getting away from the negativity was more important to my health. I am desperately seeking support, and I don't go to my church anymore on the weekends because I have a part time job to make ends meet. I have good friends and they all live out of state except one who I appreciate. How do I find healthy friends?

I would be happy to clarify anything. I could write forever since I think about how being raised as I was really affected my life more often than I like to admit.

Just wondering if anyone can relate.