I am sad and angry that a young man had to die
From Linda W
Tomorrow is the funeral of a young man. He died at age 21 in Iraq. He was a childhood friend of my daughter.
The funeral will be at a church, of course. His parents were very religious.
I am very saddened and yes, angry that a young man had to die.
The funeral will have the usual messages of how great and good God/Jesus are, how this young man was called home, how he now is in the loving arms of Jesus, etc.
I think to myself of how I would cope with the death of one of my children. I know that regardless of the depths of my despair, I have come too far in my rational, logical worldview to resort to the supernatural for comfort. Knowing that the deceased is not suffering and honoring the life he had here on earth would bring me peace.
I understand the comfort it brings people to believe the dead are in a better place, but with that belief comes the belief in hell. How many people suffer needlessly wondering if loved ones passed on are in hell?
The funeral will be mostly about how wonderful God is, how God helps the bereaved, how the Lord is with all of us, etc. Only in the privacy of one's home will anybody be calling out to his or her God, angrily demanding to know why and how a loving God could let such a thing happen. And this most likely will then be accompanied by guilt and then an emotional surrender to "God's will."
If you can separate yourself from the sadness of the situation, you can see the madness in the belief that such a great power is now your comfort, but that power did nothing to save your loved one, nor did anything to stop the suffering of millions of other loved ones.
And it made no difference whether they were believers or not.
tag: death, hell, Iraq War, rational thought, mourning, , reason, skeptic, Bible, agnostic, atheist
Tomorrow is the funeral of a young man. He died at age 21 in Iraq. He was a childhood friend of my daughter.
The funeral will be at a church, of course. His parents were very religious.
I am very saddened and yes, angry that a young man had to die.
The funeral will have the usual messages of how great and good God/Jesus are, how this young man was called home, how he now is in the loving arms of Jesus, etc.
I think to myself of how I would cope with the death of one of my children. I know that regardless of the depths of my despair, I have come too far in my rational, logical worldview to resort to the supernatural for comfort. Knowing that the deceased is not suffering and honoring the life he had here on earth would bring me peace.
I understand the comfort it brings people to believe the dead are in a better place, but with that belief comes the belief in hell. How many people suffer needlessly wondering if loved ones passed on are in hell?
The funeral will be mostly about how wonderful God is, how God helps the bereaved, how the Lord is with all of us, etc. Only in the privacy of one's home will anybody be calling out to his or her God, angrily demanding to know why and how a loving God could let such a thing happen. And this most likely will then be accompanied by guilt and then an emotional surrender to "God's will."
If you can separate yourself from the sadness of the situation, you can see the madness in the belief that such a great power is now your comfort, but that power did nothing to save your loved one, nor did anything to stop the suffering of millions of other loved ones.
And it made no difference whether they were believers or not.
tag: death, hell, Iraq War, rational thought, mourning, , reason, skeptic, Bible, agnostic, atheist
Comments
GOD DIED, the day my son died.
--S.
That was an exact quote! I am not kidding you! That so-called Christian man told an 11 year old kid (who is Asian) that there were too many Asians at his grandmothers funeral! Thank goodness my son's friend is a true Buddhist and shook it off. But still, he is not stupid! The kid knows what racism is!
And to add insult to more insult, those Christian neighbors are constantly badgering the Buddhist family to come to their church and their Bible studies, etc..... These people are also active in the Booy Scout troop that my boys are in. So we all must deal with them from time to time.
What a bunch of racist, bigoted, hypocritical pigs! To say something like that to a kid makes it even more reprehensible!
I want you to know that my heart is with you though I can't even imagine the pain you must be experiencing from such a huge loss. From one human being to another I just want you to know that I would hold your hand and cry with you if I were there. Please know that while we may not know what to say, we truly care about you. Please feel free to vent all you want, This is a great site for that.
Wishing you to be surrounded in comfort in love,
Eris
I can't even imagine what you are going thru'. Nothing could possibly fill the hole in one's heart from such a loss. Just wish someday you can eventually find peace.
Steve
It was very hard to keep it secular, but my son was a tree hugger and loved nature and I was not going to let anybody talk about God. In fact, the word was not even mentioned once.
I had a lot of persuasion to do it another way, but my son deserved to have his personality known. He died in a car accident going to get a sandwish at Arby's on a Friday afternoon at 3. He was not doing anything he was not supposed to be doing. Just unlucky on this horrible narrow stretch of road that continues to claim lives in our county.
I still feel his presence at times and I know it is in my head but I am comforted by it. I have had some strange things happen which I won't write about here, I would get a lot of flack for that on this site, I've noticed.
I am comforted by the knowledge that he was not afraid of death and spoke about it matter-of-factly many times the last year of life. I miss him so much and religious people just make me furious. I can not even listen to a word of crap. I stare and don't even smile, I just stare, like how dare you put your faith on me at this time. They think they are being helpful but I just get really mad.
Sconner, I hope you find some relief, it is so hard I know.
Nina
your letters made me cry. i wish i could make the pain go away for you both.
i lost my 18 year old brother in a car accident nearly 2 years ago. my family has been completely changed by this. they were very religious (im the oldest of 8 children and was raised very fundamentalist). i was having major doubts about the church and religion in general just before the accident and when it happened i was challenged to look long and hard for the truth and found that it wasnt in any church. my family suffered terrible amounts of pain because of their confusion about where my brother might be, my mom worried that he wasnt in heaven because of his lifestyle and at times this caused extreme levels of depression for her. when they wernt worried about him suffering they were covering up their grief with the heaven band aid. grieving is so important for those left behind and also very respectful or the loved one who passed on. there was much pain and tears but not a lot of grieving, just depression and fear.
when my family became aware of my complete abandonment of faith they were very hurt. i worried that they would avoid me which was scarry becaseu my close family had become even closer and our relationships were helping me cope with the loss of my brother. after a while they noticed that i had peace about my brothers death. i dont spend hours crying into my pillow and bagging god for his forgiveness and praying that he is not in hell. my brother was a good guy, loving and peaceful and i believe that he is resting peacefully now. the strength and peace that i have is encouraging for my family and i think that they have all gone through major changes in their personal beliefs. i do wish that i protested such a ridiculous religious funeral. i hated every moment of it. it wasnt jeremy at all, it was disrespectful and fake. i would have loved to just hear stories about him and to cry with others who were hurting so badly. instead, me and my young brothers held each other quietly and cried while people around us danced and sung like fools. some of my extended family is secular and the funeral caused more pain for them then they should have ever experienced.
No one knew I was an athiest before my son's memorial service or funeral, I am sure I shocked everyone, some are still catholic, like my father and aunts and cousins.
Thank you for sharing the story about your brother. It is too sad to think about but we absolutely have to.
I wanted to respond and say that I know for a fact I am handling this better than any of my religious family. They can not even speak about him and I smile and share my best memories anytime I want and most are uncomfortable. I don't care.
At his service we did only talk about his life. Everyone got up and told stories and a few read some poems, but nothing resembling religious was said or done. I was so proud of that. I told other's before the event that Mike would be insulted if anyone assumed he was a god fearing christian. I did have some fights about it, but his life is what was important that day. Not some sky daddy for other's to pray to.
Yep, I made whomever even attempted to mention god uncomfortable with that stare. That "how dare you" stare.
nina
Onanite