Ex-Christian if I ever was one
Great site,
Just found it on the net, I can relate to your story in spirit although I never became as immersed in Christianity as you did. But the guilt and fear of a Catholic upbringing still haunts me to this day.
I can remember growing up I was depressed about life. I think I saw life a lot different than most of my friends. While I would party with them and all, all they wanted to do was drink and get high. Meanwhile I was contemplating things like what happens when we die, almost obsessively (this probably stemmed from my father dying when I was 12).
I would see Christians on T.V. and decided I wanted that ‘peace and harmony’, I gave my life to Christ. Nothing happened! Years of reading, praying, worshipping, and nothing, I would hear people talking about the power of the Holy Spirit and I wondered why I didn’t have it. I was consistently told there’s something I’m doing wrong, and that’s why I didn’t have the spirit, or hear God talking to me.
One day it was revealed that the minister of the church I was attending at the time not only was having an affair but was embezzling money from the church. How could he have been filled with the ‘Holy Spirit’ while committing such grievous acts? Surely he was he talked about the spirit, I heard other church members talk about how God had graced him so powerfully with the spirit. The answer was finally revealed to me. He wasn’t, never was, none of them were, they were completely full of it. The only difference between them and me was I was naïve. I didn’t pretend to be off in La-La land with my friend Jesus, while the rest of them did. There was no spirit, no harmony with the almighty, it was all bologna.
I guess the moral of the story is I needed therapy not church. Since the realization that there isn’t a loving God of the Universe who cares about me, I’ve been much more productive and happy with my life. I live in the here and now, I enjoy the little time I have with my wife and children, and I’m not preoccupied with what happens when I die. Because I know what happens I get buried! As life fades I go to sleep and that’s it, and you know what I’m absolutely fine with that.
I still probably need therapy to reverse the damage done by Christianity, and the church. My theological standing right now I would say is agnostic; I haven’t become a full fledged ‘evil atheist’J. I still think something pushed this universe along. But I don’t pretend to have any what that was, what I am sure about is it didn’t send its son to be butchered on a cross so we can be cleansed in his blood.
But once again great site I think it really helps people out!
Sincerely,
Mike
Hello Mike,
Thanks for the kudos, and I am glad you got encouraged by the site. If you allow me too, I would like to post your letter on the site, or if you want to write a more detailed testimony, I could post that. Either way, or not at all, it is up to you.
If you have spent any time on the site, you will notice that I get quite a bit of negative Xtian attention with the site, so when someone like you comes along, I like to post the positive stuff too.
Thanks again,
Dave VanAllen
webmaster of http://exchristian.net
Hello Dave,
Sure you can post it on the site; I may also write a more detailed testimony. I’m sure you can guess there was a lot more to my conversion to Christianity, and subsequent departure from the church.
Once again I enjoy your site; I love all of the Christians arguments of quoting scripture to prove the validity of the bible. I don’t believe in the bible, you may as well be quoting a Cracker Jack box. I got that all the time from Christians and never received a solid answer from one of them when I was a church goer.
It’s good to know they haven’t changed since I left the church. I don’t tend to immerse myself in debate with Christians too much. Usually they ask me how we got here if there isn’t a God, I say I don’t know, nor do I pretend to know. But there are many interesting theories about he ori.. This is where I’m again cut off to be asked, aren’t you worried what’s going to happen when you die, I again so no because I’ll be dead and won’t care about much of anything. This is usually where the Christian calls me an idiot, or says something self-aggrandizing to show there superiority over me. I usually just let them speak they do a much better job of discrediting Christianity than I ever could.
Again great site, I’m a systems engineer and I dabble in web-development so I like the design of it too.
Regards,
Mike
Just found it on the net, I can relate to your story in spirit although I never became as immersed in Christianity as you did. But the guilt and fear of a Catholic upbringing still haunts me to this day.
I can remember growing up I was depressed about life. I think I saw life a lot different than most of my friends. While I would party with them and all, all they wanted to do was drink and get high. Meanwhile I was contemplating things like what happens when we die, almost obsessively (this probably stemmed from my father dying when I was 12).
I would see Christians on T.V. and decided I wanted that ‘peace and harmony’, I gave my life to Christ. Nothing happened! Years of reading, praying, worshipping, and nothing, I would hear people talking about the power of the Holy Spirit and I wondered why I didn’t have it. I was consistently told there’s something I’m doing wrong, and that’s why I didn’t have the spirit, or hear God talking to me.
One day it was revealed that the minister of the church I was attending at the time not only was having an affair but was embezzling money from the church. How could he have been filled with the ‘Holy Spirit’ while committing such grievous acts? Surely he was he talked about the spirit, I heard other church members talk about how God had graced him so powerfully with the spirit. The answer was finally revealed to me. He wasn’t, never was, none of them were, they were completely full of it. The only difference between them and me was I was naïve. I didn’t pretend to be off in La-La land with my friend Jesus, while the rest of them did. There was no spirit, no harmony with the almighty, it was all bologna.
I guess the moral of the story is I needed therapy not church. Since the realization that there isn’t a loving God of the Universe who cares about me, I’ve been much more productive and happy with my life. I live in the here and now, I enjoy the little time I have with my wife and children, and I’m not preoccupied with what happens when I die. Because I know what happens I get buried! As life fades I go to sleep and that’s it, and you know what I’m absolutely fine with that.
I still probably need therapy to reverse the damage done by Christianity, and the church. My theological standing right now I would say is agnostic; I haven’t become a full fledged ‘evil atheist’J. I still think something pushed this universe along. But I don’t pretend to have any what that was, what I am sure about is it didn’t send its son to be butchered on a cross so we can be cleansed in his blood.
But once again great site I think it really helps people out!
Sincerely,
Mike
Hello Mike,
Thanks for the kudos, and I am glad you got encouraged by the site. If you allow me too, I would like to post your letter on the site, or if you want to write a more detailed testimony, I could post that. Either way, or not at all, it is up to you.
If you have spent any time on the site, you will notice that I get quite a bit of negative Xtian attention with the site, so when someone like you comes along, I like to post the positive stuff too.
Thanks again,
Dave VanAllen
webmaster of http://exchristian.net
Hello Dave,
Sure you can post it on the site; I may also write a more detailed testimony. I’m sure you can guess there was a lot more to my conversion to Christianity, and subsequent departure from the church.
Once again I enjoy your site; I love all of the Christians arguments of quoting scripture to prove the validity of the bible. I don’t believe in the bible, you may as well be quoting a Cracker Jack box. I got that all the time from Christians and never received a solid answer from one of them when I was a church goer.
It’s good to know they haven’t changed since I left the church. I don’t tend to immerse myself in debate with Christians too much. Usually they ask me how we got here if there isn’t a God, I say I don’t know, nor do I pretend to know. But there are many interesting theories about he ori.. This is where I’m again cut off to be asked, aren’t you worried what’s going to happen when you die, I again so no because I’ll be dead and won’t care about much of anything. This is usually where the Christian calls me an idiot, or says something self-aggrandizing to show there superiority over me. I usually just let them speak they do a much better job of discrediting Christianity than I ever could.
Again great site, I’m a systems engineer and I dabble in web-development so I like the design of it too.
Regards,
Mike
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