Monday, December 25, 2006                                                                                       View Comments

I feel like a survivor

Sent in by D.C.

I was a person of faith...its all that I knew and for the longest time I really believed I couldn't live a happy life without faith. For longer than I can remember though...I was nagged by this little voice in the back of my mind...it kept saying..."Dawn...Christianity wasn't meant for you...this isn't real."

This voice kept getting louder and louder and louder until one day at work...I just stopped believing. It just sort of WENT AWAY.

I didn't feel bad...as a matter of fact I immediately started to feel better. I was very confused...why didn't I feel bad? Why didn't my "conscience" set about trying to destroy me. I DIDN'T FEEL EVIL!

lol...its been tough.

Friends, family, society...now I Feel as if I'm surrounded by crazy people. Xmas has been a real eye opener this year. I see Christians milling about nativity scenes at the mall...right next to Santa saying "ho ho ho Merry Christmas".

I feel like a survivor of some terrible mass delusion...like I'm mentally "well" for the first time. Does anyone else feel like they are living in a huge loony bin? I cant talk to anyone about this...all I can do is stare and feel bad for them. I'm thankful for this site because I can at least talk about it openly.

What I'm dealing with now...and what is most shocking...is now that the faith filter is gone, everything I see and hear on the news seems more real...more sad...I think faith actually made me numb because I have never felt anything like this before. Why do some people "wake up" and so many others not? My closest friends know about this...my family never will...lol ...NO WAY!

I know that I could never go back...I don't want to...I would rather live in a world of intelligence and reason. It may be lonelier out here...but dammit...it feels really good. I just hope that I can meet new like minded individuals...in time I know I will...

Peace...D.