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Sunday, June 25, 2006                                                                                       View Comments

The Emperor's New Clothes

I feel so hurt and angry right now. I guess I could take just so much 'crap' from people during a time when I was down. My husband died unexpectedly when my children were only little.

Quite a number of christians who I knew would say things to me like "god is your husband' or 'god is a father to the fatherless'. It all sounded so 'good and right', but to me they were just empty words that meant nothing. Although I felt alot of guilt because I couldn't really understand what was said to me.

I would think to myself, well if god is supposed to be a father to the fatherless, where is he when the kids are off playing in a grand final (very important to them) and they wanted their dad there to cheer them from the sidelines as he would do. My cheering wasn't quite the same. Or where is he when they are sick, and they wanted their dad. My oldest daughter who was just 11 years old when her dad died was a real 'daddy's girl'. My kids missed their dad terribly, and still do.

One woman who ran the christian singles group at the church where I used to go said to me that she felt very angry when people grieved over the loss of a parent, because, she said, that god was the father, and it was an insult to him to grieve for a lost parent.

Some of my christian friends couldn't understand why I just didn't 'get it' - that is the whole god concept - that I seemed to be lacking because I just couldn't 'see' what they could see. I used to think I was like the little kid in the storybook "The Emperor's New Clothes" - when he called out from the crowd that the emperor had no clothes on - when everyone else was saying how splended he looked. Thing is I just couldn't say I could believe something when I didn't.

So, right now my favourite word is 'crap' for all the sermons and advice I was given when I went to church. Excuse my misuse of the english language, but 'crap' seems to cover everything quite nicely. And I feel much better for actually saying what I mean anyway.

Thank you

cl