A letter from Dean Image by Steve Rhodes via Flickr I need help. After a very long time of searching for people who feel as I do I finally found this website. I have written this because I do not know who else to talk to and I feel that this is the only site where people will understand what I am going through. This is a long post. I hope someone reads it as I really need to know that I am not the only one going through this. I am really struggling with Christianity. A couple of years ago, when I was in my late 20's, I started questioning my faith. I was deeply involved in a church but things started to unravel. The crux of the matter is that I fell in love with a wonderful, beautiful, caring woman. She was not a Christian. I had never had a close girlfriend, and I had always wanted to be with a Christian woman. How ironic - I had waited so long, just to fall in love with THIS girl! For many weeks, I tried to put off the feelings, but I could not ignore them any longer. E...

Image by SugaShane via Flickr A letter from Andy Walters I severed myself from the faith with all the grace and gradualness of a guillotine drop. Sitting alone in my apartment, I was held captive by the unsettling but undeniable words spilling off the page. Some Christians wait a lifetime to hear the voice of God loud and clear. I settled for Karen Armstrong . Her thesis was undeniable: Fundamentalism , the belief that God has been perceived in exactly the same way throughout the ages, is ahistorical. Each generation of believers has reconstructed what “God” meant for them, regardless of whether their reconstructions required the reinterpretation, deformation, or abandonment of the prevalent beliefs about God. God wasn't one rope that stretched throughout history, tying our religious ancestors together. "God" was actually a long line of dominoes – individual, gradually evolved, mutually exclusive conceptions of God – that stood proudly, if surreptitiously, waitin...

Image by freefotouk via Flickr A letter from Matt I'm 18 years old and have been brought up in a fundamental (Presbyterian) christian background since the day I was born. My parents are both devout believers as well as my older brother. I was a firm believer myself, although I struggled through many things like drugs, porn, and bad habits like swearing (all the while believing in god and trying to live it). I have also attended Christian school all my life, and am currently a senior in high school (where I am in an apologetics class!) It was just over the last year that I really began to question my faith, and about 3 months ago when I utterly abandoned it. At first my parents were shocked; my mom cried and my parents tried to make me convince them it wasn't true. When they realized I was serious, my parents made me go to a Christian counselor, but it was eventually my choice to end this. My dad then said he was going to make me read things like "A Case for Christ ...

Image via Wikipedia By KSS This is an extraordinary site. I have been wondering if I was alone in wanting answers to these questions. Eventually I found this site and I am impressed with the sincere desire to find what is true. I think there are many Christians who are trapped in a place where they cannot talk about their doubts, because of the big investments that they have in church families, church friends, church community, church life. Hence the title above, Keeping Secret Silence. I think there are many men and women in this condition. To speak out would be too damaging. It is even a risk to post something here. I found the recent post by Kevin, " How do I move on ?" to be very helpful, and especially the replies that people posted. After a tragedy in our family in 2007, I started to question things. My view of God as "all powerful" began to unravel. The more I pull at it, the more it seems to unwind. Right now I am struggling with the idea that God is in fact...

Image via Wikipedia A letter from Kevin I'm 41 years of age and have been a Christian since I was probably six or seven. It's all I've known. Now my two kids -- seven and nine -- are right into it. I've wrestled with doubts since I was a teenager. Life would get tough; I would seek God; and when things got better I would thank Him. Then I would question whether that was divine help or just a coincidence of life. Now I'm at the point where I can't believe that (according to the Bible) my nice neighbours and wonderful in-laws are going to hell. And, I don't see any victories in my life over recurring "sins" or any desire for self discipline -- no visible benefits of being "saved". I think I can deal with easing out of the church community, but my big fear is, how do I move forward with my wife and kids? How do I respond to what they learn in church or at their kids' club at church? How can I be honest with myself and them? I am ...