I was just wondering if anyone ever had a complete meltdown and "re-repented" of their sin? The reason I am asking is because I am very close to do just that.
I haven't been a Christian for over three years. Before that, I was a christian for about seven years.
I am under a lot of stress. I live far away from my family-- work in a hugely Christian small town community-- coworkers, new friends, everyone seems to be christian and I am really feeling the pressure. It's like I can't make a new friend without someone eventually inquiring whether or not I know Jesus as Lord.
It doesn't help that I bait them.
What is my problem? Why am I baiting Christians or even letting them bother me? I am so nervous to be even admitting this I am nervously looking over my shoulder at work as I type. I don't want anyone walking up (I work in an elementary school) and asking me what I am doing, and finding out the depths of my heathenism.
It was never this hard in college!
Additionally, I DO somtimes feel like God is still around-- even though I know thats total crap. Am I going to be brainwashed forever?! It's been three years? Has anyone else ever felt this way?
Maria
These letters were published between January 2001 and February 2010. To view recent posts, go to The Main Blog at ExChristian.Net
2 comments:
Maria
I was where you were a year and a half ago. Totally agnostic and trying to bait christians asking them why they have to be so humble. Maybe i didnt try to prove them wrong but they could nt prove me wrong either. But circumstances have led me back to Christ. Cuz he is the only one who is faithful. Now we have time to return to the Lord but be careful cuz the time window we have may close at any time. Repent and he is faithful to forgive. If it helps, at least be open minded about it and objectively decide whether you are able to say with absolute certainty that he is deniable. Else you better do some serious introspection and my hope is that you will be renewed into repentance.
jikku wrote:
Else you better do some serious introspection and my hope is that you will be renewed into repentance
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jikku,
Repentance of WHAT?
FYI....You commented on a post that is YEARS old. Did you really expect Maria to read/answer you?
ATF
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