I'm still hanging onto this emotionally and physically destructive death-cult by a mere thread. I'm wondering how to finally get rid of the pain and guilt and fear forever.
Has anyone else been in such a position where 1) They know it's ludicrous, 2) They know it's based on hearsay and "visions" of desert hermits, but 3) They couldn't quite step over the line and end it once and for all?
I go through the motions, prayer and thanks for food all the time, but I don't want to. It's become so ingrained in my habits and psyche that I can't seem to bring myself to free myself.
It also doesn't help that Christians do apparently have "all the answers," even though I know their "answers" are merely appeals to ignorance or emotion. I've come to the point where even IF the Bible was true, I wouldn't want to worship such a god. But I still do it!?
Suggestions? Comments on habitually praying to and giving thanks to a god you don't believe in, and hate the very idea of?