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Wednesday, December 12, 2007                                                                                       View Comments

I am confused, and I am a Christian still (maybe)

Sent in by Naudia

I am confused. I am a Christian still (maybe). I have been browsing this site for a year or 2 now I guess. I have had a lot of questions and read many more things on this site that has disturbed me to the point of lots of research. I have found an answer that has been satisfying for me at least to most of the questions that I have been faced with about the Bible's authority in our lives.

I however can not make myself truly believe without doubt about Christ anymore. I can not see how we can trust the way the Bible was canonized. I'm speaking of the canonization of the New Testament. I am scared because I don't want to burn in hell. Which I suspect is why the majority of Christians actually came to Christianity in the first place. I am afraid that if I come to the conclusion Christ is a fabrication and I am wrong then

I will burn in Hell for eternity or for however long it is.

Does anyone have any information or know where I can read more about the authenticity of the 4 gospels?

I read that Most of the early church fathers accepted the 4 gospels as being authentic but had problems with a lot of the other books in the New testament. I guess if the 4 gospels are authentic then that is grounds to keep believing. I guess because this all so confusing and giving me a freaking headache. A lot of my family look at me as a degenerate because I have questions and read anything besides the KJV of the Bible and this makes me feel ashamed of myself but I can't shake the questions.

Has any of the ex Christians here ever been deeply into their faith before leaving? Has anyone here experienced supernatural things that kept them from leaving the faith? If yes can you provide me with examples.



This is my story:

I myself may sound crazy but I actually experienced demonization. I was really depressed for a long time because I thought I had committed blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. I was and still am completely normal and do not, nor have ever, had problems with mental illness. I have even had myself checked out. Well one day I went to church and a lady who calls herself a prophet called me forth and said God told her to pray for me. When I went forward she said , "Satan leave this girl ( I was about 22 at the time) alone in Jesus Name. When she mentioned the name Jesus my body bent over by itself in a submissive bow. Every time she said it that happened to me. I have never in my life been the type of person to make a scene or draw attention to myself so this was embarrassing to me. But I was bowing over at the name of Jesus and my head started shaking NO and I started crying but it was not me crying. I literally for the first time In my life felt something intelligent inside of my body that I had no idea was there before. This scared the crap out of me. Anyways I felt that whatever was inside of me was terrified of the Name of Jesus and it was getting ready to come out upon the insistence of the woman using the name of Jesus. But she stopped and when I approached her about what was going on she did not believe me and a lot of the people in my church did not. I eventually left that church and have not been a regular church goer since. Basically to this day I can not go into a church without demonic supernatural things happening to me. It doesn't happen unless I go around praise and worship and church settings. It can not be psychological because I started speaking in weird languages and said some things in Italian and Spanish that were confirmed by my husband who speaks Spanish fluently and knows a little Italian I also have predicted small immediate future events while in these states that have come true. I have had Medical checkups and also Cat scans and MRI's to see if anything was wrong with my brain. Nothing wrong physically or mentally except some allergies and chemical sensitivities. I just know what has happened to me is real and not a mental illness. I have found other Christians who have gone through the same thing but no one that is an EX Christian.

Has anyone here experienced anything like this and still lost their faith?

I really need to talk to someone who has gone through similar things.

This may sound like a movie or the rantings of a crazy person but I swear that it is true and this keeps me thinking that Christ is real.

However I don't understand how the bible can be trusted considering the way it came together.