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Sunday, December 17, 2006                                                                                       View Comments

The Jesus Show

A letter from Santa:

Just thought I'd report on an experience I had a couple of nights ago. I am a free-lance Santa for parties, etc, this time of year.

One of my agencies assigned me to a holiday party for a business. I was surprised to see when I got there, that the CEO of the business was executing his holiday office party like "The Jesus Show."

First of all, he spoke from a stage and told everyone that Jesus was the reason for the season and had everyone stand up and pray. I went along, but only because to be seen there as a Santa who didn't go along with their Jesus message might have caused complaints back to my agency. Then he had various employees read Bible passages related to the birth (and death) of Jesus.

There was even a cake in the buffet line which was shaped to look like a Bible and was decorated with Bible passages.

The worst part was the singing. Bad fundy songs about Jesus sung badly. They even sang "Happy Birthday" to Jesus. At that moment, I felt the Christians were right about one thing; there is a hell; and I was in it.

Just when I thought I had descended to the seventh level of hell, one big haired lady announced she was going to sing, "Jesus Loves Me, This I Know," to a "visual" by ..... drum roll.... TRENT LOTT! Nothing like a racist to cap off your evening. The video he had produced had children running through meadows in slow motion, blowing bubbles, and everyone all happy beyond belief -- surprise! they were alll white!

I had this fantasy of having known in advance this was going to take place and surreptitiously replacing the Lott video with the Ava Lowery video which shows kids blown up in Iraq to the same song Muhahahahahahaaaa! They would have been in shock.

Anyway, of course the whole time I was asking myself. Is this even remotely legal to be so blatantly proselytizing to your employees this way? I'm guessing they screen for infidels and don't allow people like you and me work for them. BTW, the company is in the oil and gas exploration and well maintenance business. In any case, it's hard to imagine that there aren't some people who work there who made uneasy by all this, and there's pressure to conform to his view of religion to get promotions, etc.

Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 clearly states:

Employees cannot be forced to participate -- or not participate -- in a religious activity as a condition of employment.

I'm interested in reactions to this.