There are many valid statements in many of your testimonies relating to the ridiculousness of "Christians" in society. There are a lot of people and groups and churches and holy wars and etc, etc who call themself Christians but which does not necessarily mean they are in fact Christians. When Christ calls a man, it is until the end so as no credit or boasting may be done by the individual (1 Corinthians). God is our Creator and man is the only creature that has laughed in the face of Him. For this, we are a depraved creature, guilty of punishement and banishment. It is not all about logic or reason or evidence or sense.
It would not be faith if all the evidence were there or if all the archeaological evidence were found or if all the teaching made perfectly logical sense.
Man has turned their back on God and I plead with you, brothers, understand that what you may have been exposed to was not what Christianity is all about. Let the Word speak for itself and I ask you to read through it and let it speak for it is the Spirit of God through the Word that saves you not you yourselves. It it were up to man to save himself, he would fail every time.
You were never truly converted because God makes it clear that He will be faithful to complete the work He began in you. There is a God and He is not Silent (Schaeffer). We are meant to be cursed because of our depravity. Christ became a curse for us - and God's wrath killed Him because of His love for us and because of His promise to make His name known.