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Saturday, January 03, 2004                                                                                       View Comments

Hunters in the woods

Hello, my name is Colin Benson. I wrote the following story this evening after reading a slightly similar story from a joke book. I hope you like it, you may post this story on your website if you wish

Two deer hunters get lost in the woods only a mile apart during a cool autumn day. One of them is an atheist, the other is a christian. Both have some experience with the outdoors. Both have survival gear, maps, food and so forth in their packs and both live alone in cabins with no contact with the outside world, so there is little hope of and type of rescue.

The atheist says to himself "OK, I'm lost. There is no need for me to panic. I will use my map, compass and outdoor experience to find my way home again." He starts off towards the north where he thinks Red lake is located.

The Christian says to himself "OK, I'm lost. My only hope is to pray for God's help." He gets down on his knees and begins praying.

An hour later, the atheist arrives at a lake. But it is not the lake he thought he was heading towards. "This lake is larger than Red lake and there are two islands in the middle." he thinks so he skirts the shoreline for a while to get an idea of what the shape of the lake might be.

The christian however is still praying "Please God, let me get out of these woods alive, please! God allmighty!"

Another hour later the atheist hunter has dertimined the lake is in a wide oval shape. So he checks his map. "A wide oval shaped lake with two islands in the middle..." he thinks as he looks at the map. "Ah! here it is." he points at a place on the map. "I must be at bear lake. That's only a 1/3 of a mile to a railway to the west." So he starts off towards the west already feeling more at ease he begins whistiling.

The christian however has not moved and continues praying. "If you help me get out of these woods alive God, I will go to church everyday and I will help the poor!"

A short walk later the atheist hunter has arrived at the railway just as he predicted. "Excellent! I am now no longer lost. All I have to do is follow this railway south to highway 23. I shall be home in less than three hours."

The christian hunter has not moved an inch and amazingly is still praying and begining to panic. "I love you God, but I don't want to leave this Earth just yet. Please I'm begging you help me! I don't want to die just yet!"

In only 45 minutes, the atheist hunter has arrived at the highway where he hitches a ride with an old farmer back to his cabin. It begins to snow and winds begin picking up. The atheist hunter says to the farmer. "Looks like a blizzard is comming. Good thing I found my out of those woods." The farmer only replies "Yep."

That same moment, the christian hunter realizes a blizzard is comming as well and begins hysterically praying "God please, please, please I need your help!! I am going to die out here if you don't save me!!"

A short drive later the atheist hunter is at the front porch of his cabin. He thanks the farmer for the ride, enters his cabin and lights his stove. He pulls a brew out of the fridge, sips it and reclines on his favourite chair.

The christian hunter however, is not at all relaxed. His knees are beging to ache from from being on hard rock for hours. his hands and feet are getting numb from the cold and he is in a state of panic. Still he stubbronly continues to pray thinking he is simply not praying hard enough for God's help.

Two hours later the blizzard is raging full force. Snow is falling in heaps and winds are howling. The atheist hunter crawls into bed and extinuigshes the lights. "Good night." he says to himself.

The very same moment the christian hunter dies of hypothermia. Not having made even a single step ever since he realized he was lost.

Moral of the story: Prayer does not solve serious real-life problems. You can only ultimately rely on yourself. If you insist in beliving in God, don't rely on his help with everything in your life.

Colin Benson